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Julio Franco, I’ve been waiting for this news. Read it and weep. Julio, who will turn 51 in August, said that he’ll play winter ball in Mexico. He’ll be looking for a MLB team in the spring of 2010.

The story reads that he has not officially retired as a player.

I wish him luck.

As most of you know, I’m starting to grow a beard again for the winter. No big deal. A lot of guys do it. I happened across this guy’s blog. I have got to hand it to him. Some of his looks are fantastic. I wonder how many of his styles were shown in public.

Last Friday, August 01, 2008, I had a life-changing experience. Jeanette and I visited Salvation Mountain and spent some time with Leonard Knight, its creator. Salvation Mountain is located just east of Niland, California at the entrance to the infamous Slab City. The painted mountain is one man’s solitary effort to communicate two very simple messages: God is love; and repent your sins to Jesus.

Although I had seen pictures of the Salvation Mountain on television, I was never quite sure if it was a real place. Recently though, I watched Into the Wild (2007) and got a glimpse into the history of the area. I decided that it was a place I’d like to visit. Since we were going to be in Southern California, I had my chance. Incidentally, the scene in the movie, in which Leonard plays himself, accurately captures his true spirit of hospitality and in many ways parallels our time with him.

The journey to get to Salvation mountain is not a particularly easy one, being roughly 55 miles south of I-10 and in the middle of the Southern California desert. It isn’t, however, particularly hard either as a main state road (Hwy 111) runs right to it, skirting around the Salton Sea. I am still amazed at how few people live on the eastern shores of this large expanse of water. My timing of the visit on a day when the temperature was over 110F was my own choice, not a requirement.

The town of Niland isn’t the world’s largest (pop. 1,143). Don’t blink or you might miss the road to get to Slab City and have to turn around. I did exactly that and was directed to head east on Main Street by a friendly guy at the gas station who told me, “You can’t miss it, partner.”

About a half mile past the first indication of Slab City, we saw the mountain. Upon arriving, you see Leonard’s 1950′s pick-up truck and vintage Airstream trailer, along with a sign that welcomes you onto the property. We parked and walked up to the mountain, but there was no sign of anyone else braving the mid-day heat. There was no sign of Leonard, almost leaving me to question if he really was the approachable caretaker that I had read about. I hadn’t given up hope completely. We did see some open cans of paint, thickly skinned over but not dried up and a cat dish with water in it.

Jeanette and I toured the property — the igloo (“the hogan”), the blue-green sea, the yellow brick road, the internal rooms (“the museum”) adorned with hand-made trees, glass windows, and adobe flowers. No pictures can convey the majesty of the site. The same goes for the beauty of the desert landscape. The color and energy just can’t be properly captured on film.

We had taken our pictures and were all but ready to leave when Jeanette spotted a painted car driving up the road that we had come in on. At the entrance to Salvation Mountain, it turned in and stopped next to the dump truck. Leonard Knight got out and I walked over and introduced myself. Leonard smiled broadly, thrilled to have visitors. He nervously tried to tuck in his shirt, but quickly gave up in his excitement. Leonard was returning from getting ice in town, something he said he has to do twice a day in the summer. By some means that I can’t even comprehend, Leonard has lived at the mountain without electricity or running water for the last 24 years, yet shows no ill-effects of it. That’s not to say that he doesn’t come off as a little bit eccentric. He was wearing two different shoes.

Leonard immediately offered to give us a guided tour, saying simply, “If you have a minute or two I’d love to show you around and tell you my story. Then, we can sit down and I’d love to listen to yours.” The most noticeable thing about Leonard was his passion and enthusiasm. He truly could not wait for you to hear his message. In the shade of one of the domed rooms, we sat together and talked. Leonard told us the story of his personal salvation, his failed attempts at building a hot air balloon, and the amazing history of the mountain. After hearing his story, we discussed God’s love, how simple His Message can be, and how confused this message can be at so many modern “churches of confusion” as Leonard put it.

About that time, some other visitors arrived, a couple from California. Leonard encouraged us to all walk to the top of the mountain. When we reconvened at the bottom near his car, he gave us a gift: a DVD entitled A Lifetime of Childlike Faith: The Leonard Knight Story (2006) telling his story, as well as a souvenir picture puzzle of Salvation Mountain. Never during our time with him did he give any indication of need or want of anything; leaving us to feel that a donation would be insulting. He only gave examples of how much people have given him and his desire to give more back.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not one for tourist attractions and am not easily moved by feel-good stories. Leonard Knight and his life-long project are both truly inspirational. My advice is for everyone to experience them for themselves. You won’t regret it. Read the rest of this entry »

For all the rest of you who are struggling to get through the week, let’s give it up once again to MK for brightening our day. Enjoy!

No playing at 50 for our man, Julio. He retired on Saturday.

Once again, big ups to MK for sending me a link to a guy who build a functional Guitar Hero controller out of Legos.

That guy is taking two great things and making them better. Kind of like peanut butter and bacon.

Some Vol commentary, brought to you by Dim Boobs, himself.

Lamenting the fact that we missed that catalyst for our chance to at least have a mini dynasty of sorts, from the 1989 on to present: what follows should be read with the image of the words rolling up like at the beginning of Star Wars:

The 2001 loss to LSU in SEC Championship Game is what I killed the burgeoning Orange Dynasty of the Late 20th/early 21st Century AD. That and Fulmer getting too complacent after Manning’s reign and winning the 1998 National Championship, presented by Sears. Something also kind of died when Manning failed to beat Florida in 1996 and 1997, both should have happened, and when in 1996, in Knoxville, in the rain, and Bobby Denton (that is the Neyland Stadium announcer, right?) made that lame announcement… Would Rain Spain please call UT Police, Rain Spain?… shortly after the 3rd of 5 first-half Gator touchdowns, as if, UT’s only hope of beating Florida and Spurrier’s passing attack was by rain, like in 1992 (Mose Phillips & Co.)… back to Manning… should have beaten Florida in 1996/1997 but didn’t. The Heisman Manning lost to Woodson is the direct result of those Florida loss(es), and so in essence Florida beat the Vols again at that prestigious national honor, as Wheurffel (and later Tebow) added to Spurrier’s (which brings up another one of UT’s chance for national honors lost (stolen), when Majors finished second to Paul Hornung)… which are now 3 more than UT has produced. LSU, Georgia, Alabama and Florida, (plus S.Carolina) are all in a club that UT is not (did I leave any SEC Heismans out?). What we have to contend with is UT’s lack of home grown talent vs Florida, LSU, Georgia… even Alabama and S. Carolina and no innovative coach like Urban Meyer, Steve Spurrier, or a Les Miles/Nick Saban-type motivator, or a Mark Richt walking with the confidence of a king.

What sums up the UT athletic history is a bunch of guys who came close to greatness but choked in front of the national spotlight.

1939 – unbeaten, unscored upon… and, after a 24-hour straight train ride from Knoxville to L.A., followed by an all-night night before game bash, then 6am morning march/float ride participation in the Tournament of Roses – like Homer Simpson marching in the Rio de Janeiro Carnival with a T-shirt showing Uncle Sam (but in this case, Gen. Neyland in his 40′s style brim hat) taking a bite out of the globe with the caption Try and Stop US… LOST THE GAME! Lost 14-0 to USC in the Rose Bowl, blowing the chance to be even Honorable Mentioned in all those best teams of all time ESPN/Sporting News lists.

1997 – Peyton Manning, the hype, lost to Florida, 12-7 victory over Vandy, with repeated ESPN footage of Manning directing the band, in celebration of that performance (granted, it meant an SEC east title, but look at UGA this year. College football ain’t about squeaking into the SEC Champ game… it’s about kicking ass, preferably all year, but at least in November.

If you think back to Gen. Neyland (and the stadium that UT gets bragged about)… what really can you stack up that Florida or even a dozen other across the nation couldn’t top. Great as he was, Neyland will never eclipse a Bear Bryant, Bobby Dodd, or John Heisman, in either victories or what he added to the game, although his class and character is probably viewed as superior to those and are what UT prides itself on, similar to Manning.

Manning was loved by the most of the media for his politeness. So what.

Fulmer has the overall best winning percentage of any who have coached over 10 years. So what.

Neyland stadium… not the biggest, prettiest, winningest. So, what is it, just something that East Tennesseans can take pride in seeing on national television and hearing the announcers mention it… it does have the river and the Navy.

UT needs some home grown tort, with passion to see UT get to that next level… like what THE Ohio State University tried to do over the past 5 years… pouring tons of money and somehow paying their way into the BCS year after year… but seriously, UT is in need of another huge momentum push.

Required:

1. New classic uniforms, ala Alabama, (even Florida with those throwbacks they have been wearing once per season the past few years).
2. Overall push to top-tier public research university (North Carolina, Michigan, Wisconsin, Texas) This separates you from the Oklahoma’s, Florida State’s, and Alabama’s, which are barbarians that rise up with great talent once every few years but are perceived as dumb and brutish and not contributing to the success of the student athlete.
3. Make Neyland Stadium 200,000 seating capacity. Add one more upper deck ring and then dig down and have almost a 90 degree angle wall or perhaps angling OVER 90 degrees, of standing students, stacked right on top of the playing field. Only a Plexiglas awning to protect the player from spit, etc. When making a comeback against Alabama, in the early fourth quarter, after a Vol touchdown to bring it back to within 4 points, and on the ensuing kick-off the Vol special teams player, fueled by the supercharged adrenalin of 200k screaming fans, hits the Bama return man at the 5 yard line and lifts him off the ground and throws him into the end zone for a touch back, the noise should be the loudest ever recorded by a decibel meter. That way, when some chicken-ass hot shot from Auburn, LSU or Florida comes strutting in on Friday afternoon walk through, he begins to sense the impending doom.
4. A victory for the ages: UT 140, FLA 0, September 18, 2010. The 20 Touchdown game, it will be called. When the PA makes this score announcement at the LSU/Georgia game in Athens, the scream from the crowd sends a Tacoma Narrows Bridge-like wave through the upper deck and four people are sent to the hospital with minor injuries, but later give a statement it was worth it to be there and here that announcement. Back in Knoxville, a post game fight involving both teams players AND the entire fan base attending the game, with none other than Charlie Daniels, standing at the 50 yard line, on top of the Big Orange T, shouting with his big beard in the face of Urban Meyer, with assistant coach Chris Doerring at his side: I done told you ONCE you sonuvabitch, we’re the best that’s EVER BEEN!! Followed by a Hjueh!! Hjueh!! laugh from UT fan Dusty Turnipseed, wearing an Uncle Sam sparkling top hat bought with confidence prior to the game in celebration of the coming victory.
5. And finally, a couple of years later, a lanky 6-7, Randy Moss/Devin (and Jacob!) Hester-like, home grown Alcoa or A-E Roadrunner, who is Tony Robinson reincarnated with 3.5 speed and rubber ligaments that allow for double jointed knees, 3-way player, with a life story sappier than Tebow’s, who
   wins the Heisman as a Freshman, the first of 4 straight.

Since we cannot claim any real success in the past, it is time to start now… DAMMIT, I KNOW WE CAN!!

Bone it, I guess.
–Dim

My strange work hours are starting to impact my whole life. This morning (Christmas), I woke up at 4:00a, read a book for an hour, woke the kids, and opened presents. By 9:30a, I was playing Guitar Hero III and drinking a beer. By 11:15a, I took down all the outside lights and the Christmas tree. By 11:45a, I was eating shrimp cocktail and oyster stew. Now, I’m planning my next major holiday — my birthday!

After over a two year absence, Salmon X has blogged once again. It is always nice to learn more about the events that shaped X into the man he is today.

That quote, my friends, is from the movie The People vs. Larry Flynt. (Oddly enough, it didn’t make my favorites list, although I did see it twice — in the theatre).

The quote is also symbolic of the fact that CherryStem.com is back online. Last Saturday, one of my hard drives hemorrhaged, bringing my computer to its knees. I meant to do regular back-ups. I promise. Some crucial filesystems on the drive were damaged beyond repair. After a week of becoming a bit more educated on data forensics, corrupted filesystems, and lost superblocks, all appears well again…. and, as far as I know, I didn’t lose anything important — data or, umm, media.

I’m very thankful for tools like a Live CD from Ubuntu and the open source GNU data recovery tool, ddrescue. One piece of advice to everyone is to keep a second hard drive installed, largely unpartitioned and unformated for emergencies like these.

On a more lively note, let’s all celebrate with a snack — deep-fried, bacon-wrapped, cheese dogs. An added thanks to MK for bringing this delicacy to my attention.

I know it has been a while since I posted a story, but our good friend Mike Flynt finally got his chance. More power to him.

Who knows, next, maybe there will be a 44-year old quarterback in the NFL.

It is always nice to see the Ol’ Ball Coach get burned by his own tricks. Watch this fake field goal that LSU ran on South Carolina this weekend. This play is nice for so many reasons:

• It is run on Spurrier
• A little guy gets a chance to be a hero
• That holder flips the ball completely blind
• It is run on Spurrier

And for anybody that doesn’t understand fake the funk, look it up.

In other college football news, the world has to wait another week for 59-year old phenom, Mike Flynt. I personally can’t wait to see him hit someone.

In order to spark some banter among the readers, I’ve decided to try to catalog my favorite movies of all time. I’m sure I won’t remember them all in one sitting, so this list will be a work in process.

I’d have a harder time making this a Top Ten list, so the films are listed in alphabetical order.

• Apocalypse Now (1979)
• Bad News Bears (1976)
• A Beautiful Mind (2001)
• The Big Lebowski (1998)
• Breaking Away (1979)
• Cool Hand Luke (1967)
• Dazed and Confused (1993)
• Deliverance (1972)
• Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
• Dogtown and Z-Boys (2001)
• Easy Rider (1969)
• Falling Down (1993)
• Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
• First Blood (1982)
• Forrest Gump (1994)
• Full Metal Jacket (1987)
• Hoosiers (1986)
• Joe Dirt (2001)
• The KGB, the Computer, and Me (1990)
• Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003)
• Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey (2005)
• Midnight Cowboy (1969)
• Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
• Office Space (1999)
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
• Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
• Pulp Fiction (1994)
• Slap Shot (1977)
• Sling Blade (1996)
• Smokey and the Bandit (1977)
• Super Size Me (2004)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• Trekkies (1997)
• We’re No Angels (1989)

Tonight, Julio Franco blooped in an RBI-single for the Atlanta Braves, his first major league hit as a 49-year old.

In a related story, the Atlanta Falcons signed 47-year old Morten Anderson.

The most fantastic story of all, however, is the tale of Mike Flynt, a 59-year old linebacker for a small college in Texas. I can keep getting fat for twenty more years and make a comeback to use up my eligibility.

East Tennessee native and supposed die-hard Vol fan, Kenny Chesney needs to admit to the fact that he just wants to sell records. His recent appearance with Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is disgraceful. I have a hard time calling Kenny a good sport for playing along with Tebow, who substituted the Gator Chomp for the lyrics when Chesney performed “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”.

Chesney recorded “Touchdown Tennessee” as a tribute to long-time Vol Network broadcaster John Ward. It’s a terrrific song, and I’d love to know who pulled the sound bites together. It surely wasn’t Chesney; no true Vol fan would suck up to Florida, especially a quarterback who takes such satisfaction in selecting the Vols rival.

I won’t even cross the line into Chesney’s sexuality. I’ll let other bloggers go down that road.

I was always curious as to why such a fervent Big Orange fan ended up at ETSU.

Here’s some advice Kenny that you should already know. College football in the South is serious business. SEC fans respect our rivals and their allegiance, but we don’t root for their teams and stroke their players. You broke a cardinal rule and I hope you lose fans for it.

Just to prove I’m not alone in my opinions.

After seeing this creation, Dr. J was wishing he had the old Buick back.

Julio Franco will be back in action this weekend for the Rome Braves, Atlanta’s Single A affiliate. The official story can be found here.

As mentioned previously, he should back in the Big Show come September.

Since the Bern left a well thought out comment a couple nights ago, the least I could do is link up the infamous water buffalo versus lion versus crocodile video.

Enjoy, but realize that I describe the video as lame.

Tonight, the Bern shot me an email asking for my opinions on an article at Cracked.com about The 10 Weakest Songs by Bad Ass Bands.

The good news is that only one or two of these bands are on my favorites list. Here are my comments:

• Until It Sleeps – Metallica It is hard to rock if your lead singer has short hair.
• Christmas in Hollis – Run DMC Difficult to be hard on a Christmas song.
• All of My Love – Led Zeppelin I am of the opinion that Led Zeppelin has a tendency to be soft on a lot songs. No surprises here.
• Gimme Three Steps – Lynyrd Skynyrd Until I read this article, I never even thought Ronnie Van Zandt was talking about himself. I just thought he was telling a funny story. Does nothing to diminish my opinion of Skynyrd.
• Mama I’m Coming Home – Ozzy Osbourne I tend to agree with the article. Ozzy softed a lot about this time.
• Follow Me – Uncle Cracker I’ll be honest. I didn’t know much about Uncle Cracker when this song came out other than he used to roll with Kid Rock. When the song didn’t have lyrics like “find a nest in the hills, chill like Larry Flynt”, I was a little confused.
• I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing – Aerosmith Those guys are getting old and have accomplished a lot. They should be allowed to put out a few soft songs.
• Game of Love – Carlos Santana I never jumped on the bandwagon for the mainstream Carlos Santana. Is Michelle Branch any worse than Rob Thomas?
• Hot Hot Hot – Buster Poindexter Maybe I just have no love for the New York Dolls, but this song was so lame, I can’t believe Buster Poindexter was ever cool.
• Dancin’ In The Streets – Mick Jagger (with David Bowie) If I was a mega superstar like these guys, I’d be walking around with a t-shirt on that said “Pimp” on it. Why they both decided to go soft and basically make out with one another is beyond me.

The real question is: Where is the Bern’s commentary?

J. Adams (long-time reader; sometimes poster) spotted this link while catching up on the news following the Modine picnic.